Skeleton In A Bikini

Belly Buttons Indecent Say Mountain View Farmer’s Market Vice Cops

Today, I went to the Farmer’s Market as I go every week. And it was a scorcher. Approximately 95 degrees heat.

Skeleton In A Bikini

And one of the sellers to deal with the heat decided to wear a bikini top. Because she didn’t want to become a skeleton prematurely.

And apparently that was indecent.

Seriously.

Indecent.

Not that she was violating some established policy of the Farmer’s Market, but no  – apparently some woman complained and the vice cops (in reality some poor Farmer’s Market employee who in spite of the 90 degree heat was wearing a polo-shirt and khaki pants) had to intervene to protect us…

And apparently the key to making it decent was to cover her belly… She took an apron covered her belly and all was well in the world.

Just so we’re clear in Mountain view this is decent:

But show that belly button and you are a harlot and inflaming the passions of men! And women! How dare you!

This is so absurd it deserves repeating.

It’s a hot day, and she wanted to wear a bikini top and the Mountain View Vice Cops responding to the outrage of another female customer demanded that the woman cover her belly up. Yes, you got it. It’s 2015, in Mountain View, possibly the most multicultural progressive part of North America and belly buttons are indecent.

For context, in the 1950’s women on television were not allowed to show their navels.

Where do we go next – outrageous hair colors? Inappropriate ear-rings? Facial hair?

She wasn’t indecent. She wasn’t flaunting anything. She was trying to deal with the heat on a hot day doing an exhausting job.

My reaction as this was unfolding was to offer my shirt. I wanted to see the reaction of the vice cop as I took off my shirt and walked shirtless in a public parking lot … I find cyclists in their tight fitting chamois that can flaunt men’s packages to be more indecent…  The absurdity of her wearing my t-shirt to cover her indecent navel while my flabby hairy chest was allowed to flash the world in all its glory would have been … awesome. The poor woman had the same thought and was this close to going along with my absurd plan and then figured that she liked her paycheck and decided that perhaps today was not a good day to strike a blow for feminism.

My moral outrage continued… I called the mountain view farmer’s market at (800) 806-3276 to tell them what I think of their pursuit of 1950’s decency … You should too.

As a final note… If the City of Mountain View confirms that covering the belly button was a pre-existing policy and that the poor employee was simply enforcing the policy then that’s fine. Still absurd but fine. Fine because it wasn’t some random stranger trying to bring us all the way back to this… It was our elected representatives…

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