South Park recently ran an episode satirizing the over-the-top smugness of George Clooney during his Oscar acceptance speach. I had no idea.

There is a film waiting to be written about the complexity of the Oil Crisis. In that film we will learn about the challenge of transforming a medieval culture into a modern one in the span of two generations. In that film we will learn about the importance of oil to the global economy and how our dependence on oil creates artificial political environments. In that film we will learn that there are no easy answers. That the choice of no oil means reverting to an era of misery and pain that none of us is willing to go back.

However, Syriana is not that film.

Syriana’s thesis is that Big Oil owns the US government. The US government and Big Oil conspire to keep us addicted to oil. The US government and Big Oil also work to ensure that the Middle East is ruled by fools who will do our bidding. In Syriana’s world view the Middle East is nothing more than a part of the American Raj where the kingdoms are nothing more than the modern equivalent of the princely states of British India. Rulers who pretend to have power, but really are impotent. In Syriana the solution is simple, find the modernizing Arab ruler and support his quest to transform his country. Of course, it’s that simple! But never fear the dastardly conspiracy between Big Oil and the US government will ensure that the modernizing Arab ruler is murdered using our powerful radar guided missiles.

As for the Arab people? The screenwriter can not bear to hide his contempt for their culture, their traditions and their people. The Arab people never actually make an appearance. They either are portrayed as lunatic religious fanatics pushing illiterate Pakistani villagers to perform acts of suicidal terrorism. Or they are portrayed as slothful lazy bums, such as when Bryan Woodman played by Matt Damon remarks that the Arabs wear only white and never seem to ever work. Or finally when Arash, played by Kayvan Novak, is described as a modernizer it’s because of how he views women that we are to see him as a modernizing influence. They have no say in their future. Their future is determined by the American Government, and the cartels that keep folks in power.

Sigh.

Someday, someone will write a good movie that will try and understand the topic. Expecting that from an over-the-top smug George Clooney convinced of his own self-righteousness would be too much. And it was.