I just finished reading Ann Killion’s article in the SJ Mercury News. 

She asked the same question I was asking and arrived at a different conclusion, that Usain Lightning Bolt was the real star of the Olympics.

And I must agree with her.

Usain won the prestige event, the 100m race. That is the event that has 90,000 people in the stadium and a billion world wide holding their breath to see who will win. I know I’ll be talking about Bolt with my cousins in Greece. I know they won’t care about what Phelps did or did not do.

Phelps is undoubtedly the greater champion, but Bolt, by virtue of coming later, by virtue of winning the biggest races in the grandest of style is the star of these Olympics.

And perhaps the problem is that Bolt’s victory is surreal but understandable. I mean he ran fast and he won three gold medals, and we understand that. But Phelps, well Phelps won the moral equivalent of the 100m, 200m, 400m, 110m hurdles, 4x100m, 4x400m, 4x400m hurdles, and the long jump. That’s incomprehensible.  You just say it and want to go: no, can’t be done…

So yes Phelps is the champion, but Bolt is the star.

P

Poor Usain Ligthning Bolt, if it wasn’t for Michael Phelps, this would be his Olympics.Three shattered world records, three gold medals, and an obvious unparalleled expression of joy with victory.

The 100m sprint was the greatest 9.7 seconds in sports.

With 20 meters to go in the 100m, Usain chose to start celebrating his victory… and the world stopped and wondered why? And he answered, quite plainly, he didn’t care about the record, he just wanted to win. And of course the world said he was show-boating, but maybe, just maybe for him winning the race was the point, not setting some record.

And maybe he was as surprised as the rest of us with his victory. And maybe if we found ourselves 10m ahead of our competition in the greatest race on the planet, we too would want to celebrate our victory…

It was an insane sprint, an awesome sprint, an unbelievable sprint.

And in the 200m where apparently the record was more important,Usain didn’t let up until he cross the line, breaking an age old record by Michael Johnson.

And in the 4x100m, he was so determined to win and break the world record that he chased asafa powel around the track.

But Mr. Bolt, Phelps was there first, so your accomplishment is Phelpsian instead of Mr. Phelps’ accomplishment being Boltian …

So one of the more interesting(?) aspects of the Chines diving program is the monumental focus the Chinese diving program has.

The diver’s childhood is sacrificed on the altar of potential Olympic gold.

In America, that level of dedication is viewed with a certain dose of healthy doubt about whether the trade off is worthwhile.

But the reality is that the focus, the training and the dedication of the Chinese was creating a two tier diving ranking: The Chinese and everyone else.

The US team confronted with an inability to win anything in the last few Olympics has decided if you can not beat them join them.

So now we too have a sports academy where children go to try and be Olympic champions. Sacrificing their childhoods on the altar of a diving championship.

The children are home schooled, the parents are uprooted, everything is done in the name of victory.

And I don’t blame the American athletes. This is what it takes to win now that the Chinese have raised the bar in terms of training.

I just wish that an authoritarian state that had no concern for the lives of it’s citizens was not forcing the rest of us to be as heartless…

Oksana Chusovitina and Dana Torres have redefined what is possible for people over the age of 30 in competitive athletics. Oksana won a silver medal in the vault and Dana Torres won a silver in the 50 meter freestyle. Both of these events were assumed to be the domain of the young.

I wonder whether this will change the nature of the kind of athletes we see at the Olympics.

Who needs 13 year old gymnasts, we have 30+ year old gymnasts!

And if Michael Phelps is still swimming at 40 and still winning medals at 40, we may be looking at a ridiculously large haul of medals…

One of the creepiest events to watch has been the diving competition. Not because the sport is creepy. Actually the sport is surprisingly fun to watch.

No the female announcer, Cynthia Potter,  has been very, very, very creepy. I mean after the 2004 Olympics where I had to suffer through the announcers repeatedly telling us about how the Hamm twins rolled in the hay as young boys (yech! I mean yech!!! I mean twins, hay, rolling.. YECH!!!) I was convinced the creepiness bar could never be surpassed.

No she surpassed it with her asinine comment on why the divers take a shower after each dive:

They just want to have fun.

I mean, what is this the car wash scene from Charlie’s Angels?

And her fawning over the athletes was down right lecherous. I mean, yech…

Of course the cameras which followed the men and women as they take a shower, and the pool that doesn’t have a wall to give them some privacy is just as creepy…

During the woman’s 3 meter diving final, an American diver had a horrible dive where the water sprayed all over the place. The announcer was stunned and could not resist the following comment:

If surf’s up after the diver enters the water, there’s a problem.

This was  a funny page with a bunch of cute definitions

Phelpsian is the new Beamonesque – Fourth-Place Medal – Olympics – Yahoo! Sports

Michael Phelps — Swimming

Phelpsian. adj. felps-e-in. 1) dominating a competition. Eddie Murphy’s Meet Dave is not a candidate to have a Phelpsian run at next year’s Oscars.

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Asafa Powell — Track

Powelled. v. pow-uld. 1) to accelerate at a jet-like pace. He Powelled out of the restaurant when the waitress brought the check.

—

Dara Torres — Swimming

Torres. n. tor-ez. 1) calling into question an accomplishment based on unconfirmed speculation of shenanigans. Bryce said he got the bartender’s number, but everyone called Torres on his account of the story.

So Hoff just finished a great performance and Andrea is interviewing her:

Andrea; How were you able to recover after your bronze medal performance in the 400 IM? (I mean you were the favorite and choked)

Katie Hoff (who assumes Andrea is talking about the disappointment of how she swam, implying that she choked, and is visibly irritated): well actually I did quite well in that race, matching a personal best.

Andrea: Oh no, I was talking about your endurance (a visibly freaked out Andrea who is not looking forward to being relegated to interviewing people on the street about the Olynpics)

Katie Hoff: OHHHHHHH… that’s what you meant (Lying bitch, but I’ll give you that out so you can keep your job)

Andrea Kremer in the 2004 Olympics set a new low for sports journalism when she ripped into the women’s gymnastic team after the team competition.

Her interview was so poor, that Bob Costas who was watching it live had his hand over his mouth in shock and said:

Thank’s for that interview, Andrea.

Andrea failed to make an appearance at the Olympics after that.

But she’s back, and we have to got track her Andreaism ….